I need to vent cause I am fuming!!!!

Ok, so you don't have to agree with me but I have to say somethings before I explode. Tiger Woods is a schmuck. Yes, I understand you have been in the spotlight since you were 2. I understand that you are one of the richest and best athlete's to ever exist. I understand that all celebrities live fairly hard lives because everyone is always watching you, but that is just it, when you become a celebrity YOU KNOW EVERYONE IS WATCHING YOU!!

His parents raised him a certain way, and I am sure, being a parent myself, he was not raised to be a lying, no good, cheating SOB! So, you feel you have a sense of entitlement because you are popular, rich and powerful and that the world is yours? What are you a over grown 2 year old? Two year old toddlers have the same sense of entitlement that everything is theirs and they believe everyone should bend to their tantrums.

Well, all your transgressions are just that, a toddler tantrum forcing people to do what you want, when you want and all without thinking of repercussions! You sorry, cheating jerk.

I don't know about you but when I said my wedding vows I was not only promising to my husband that I would love, honor, cherish and be faithful to him for the rest of my life, I made that promise in front of GOD, and all my family and friends. It says something about a man's character who can break such a promise made in front of GOD. I understand that you are Buddhist, but even a Buddhist has to have some form of morals to know that CHEATING IS WRONG!

One of my most favorite 10 commandments "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery." God Bless poor Elin in this situation. She has indeed reacted to this entire event with poise and grace that I would never be able to have done. Tiger admitted that she never committed an act of violence against him, well Tiger you are a darn lucky man that I wasn't your wife because I probably would have either a)Beat the living crap out of you, b)Castrated you while you slept, c)taken your children and ran away for you to never find me and divorce you immediately. There would have been a distinct possibility that I would have done all three of those statement.

So Tiger you are mad at the media for blowing things out of proportion. So you think sleeping with 20 different women, who are not your wife, wasn't blowing things out of proportion. Your since of entitlement (you overgrown worthless toddler) is not an excuse, it is not an apolgy and it does not wipe your slate clean.

You knew you were a role model for millions upon millions of people. Adults know what you did is wrong, but how bout the kids who thought of you as their hero? What did you teach them, hey kids it's ok to get married when you are rich and popular because you can still have ANYTHING you want anytime you want it. All you have to do is apologize for it later.

You are a sorry good for nothing excuse of a man, husband and father. Think of the impact on your kids!!! Seriously were you thinking about your kids when you were banging all the porn stars, party hosts and models? Did you kiss your kids with the same mouth you kissed all of those women with? What are you going to say to your poor children when they ask you why you don't love their mommy and you love all the other women?

My favorite part of your entire new conference, watching his mother not being able to look at him all while have a disgusted look on her face. The pain that had to cause him brings me some small pitance of joy. I know how I would feel having my mom react to me like that in the public.

So, the morale of my blog today. DON'T FREAKIN CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE!! NO ONE ON THIS EARTH IS ENTITLED TO HAVE ANYTHING THEY WANT ANYTIME THEY WANT IT! The Good Lord made each one of us who we are and we need to be truly thankful for the life He has chosen for us to live and live it in a manner for Him to be proud of us.

Tiger, your 15 minutes of fame are over. You will never be a great athlete in my eyes again. So go back and play golf anytime you are ready but you will never be the greatest golfer in the universe in my mind ever again.

Thanks for letting me vent, I feel much better!

Those of you who have kids have the same arguments with your children, clean your room, brush your teeth, eat your dinner, don't hit your sister, you know all the good ones.

Well today was one of those days for me. We had a sleep over last night with one of Abi's friends, so, yesterday afternoon was spent "cleaning up". We all worked together and got everything put in its place and the house was clean. The sleep over was fun for everyone. So, we get up this morning, have breakfast and then go about our day. Our sleep over guest was picked up at 10:15, and yes, of course, the house is messy again.

So, I put on my mommy hat and start barking my orders. Brush your teeth, get dressed and clean your room. Abi goes and does what she is told (shocker I know) and Buddy goes into his room only to come back out in about 5 minutes.

Buddy comes and curls up on my lap and looks up at me and says,"Mommy, why do I have to clean my room again?" I simply say, "because I'm the Mommy and I said so." He is quiet for a minute, then he looks up at me again and says,"I don't know why you make me clean my room all the time, you know I am just going to mess it up again. I thought you were a smart mommy?"

I said, "Buddy, Mommy is smart and if you were smart you would get off your butt and go get that room clean before I throw everything away for you not doing what you were told." He gets up walks down the hallway only to turn around and come back and hug me and then look at me and say,"I love you Mommy, even if you are mean and make me do not fun things."

He then scampers off and cleans his room with no more questions. How am I supposed to respond to that?

Well good morning there Blog! Cow in the Hull are you? Long time no write, guess you think I am like a loser boyfriend ignoring you for so long, but I'm not, you know I still loves you!

So, guess you could say I've been a busy bee for a while. Been to 2 job interviews and actually got hired in the first one without being asked if I wanted it simply because of my quick wit and devastatingly good looks. I had to refuse though because it was only for 15 hours a week at 8.50 an hour. Seriously? $130 a week? After I have told you that you and your staff have been violating OSHA regulations and that you really don't know crap about the machine you are hiring me to run? Really? Sorry ma'am but my skillz and knowledge are worth more than that!

The second interview was yesterday, and I thought the lady didn't like me or something but I got a call back last night from another individual with the company to do a phone interview. Now normally I am much better at Face to Face interviews, but this poor lady was so quiet and reserved I felt like I was screaming at her when I was speaking in my normal voice. I think I kind of perplexed her when I kept laughing at the questions she was asking because they were all straight off the Kiddie Kandids interview script. I couldn't help laughing! I think she thinks I am a few sandwiches short of a picnic or something.

Can I just say that I love my husband? He is the most wonderful, patient man I have ever met. He is a great father and a wonderful best friend. WOW look at me being all mushy, what the crap is up with that? Ok, I am over it back to my normal self.....

So my kids are an ever entertaining portion of my daily routine. Madelyn is almost walking. When she is practices her walking, she has to stop and take frequent dancing breaks to show us her mad skillz. Abi is doing awesome in school, she has signed up for every extra curricular activity she can make time for just to see if she can make my day even more busier. Buddy (his real name is Zachery for those of you who can't remember what we really named him) has a new best friend. His name is Dave, he is married to my friend Nichole and Buddy says,"Dave is the awesomiest Star Wars player in the universe!" Buddy also says that Nichole is good cause,"she named her kitty after a gremlin. Mommy can I name my next kitty after a gremlin or we can call him 2 Face!" (no people we will not be getting a new kitty and the 2 Face is a reference to his Batman Wii game).

Life seems to be trudging right along in the Samsel Household. Being a stay at home mom is pretty ok. I still have my sanity at least. I have discovered that if I think I have cleaned up 1 room in my house in record time, that just means that the kids have completely trashed another room. So when I go clean the other room, the room I just got finished cleaning is trashed. OMG it is a never ending cycle!

So in closing, I apologize for neglecting you Blog and also for neglecting my faithful followers. I promise to be better about keeping you all entertained. I may write another blog later today with some funny Buddyisms if I can find the time, but I am not making any promises!

Today's Goal for each of you: Hug your family, eat a piece of chocolate and send me $10 (cash only please) Ya'll have a good day now!

Oh the things we will do.....

As everyone knows I love my kids. For those of you that don't have kids, I am going to teach you a valuable life lesson, for those of you who do have kids, just smile and nod while you read this and enjoy.

Before becoming a parent, no one ever warns you what is to happen to you when your child/children arrive. As children, we adults can all recall how we would sulk in our rooms and imagine how when we had kids there was no way we would act like our parents. We were going to be better parents than our parent were. Don't deny it, I know it's true. The one thing I have discovered as a parent is that you tend to do some things just simply to see your kids smile, hear them laugh and just come up to hug you and thank you. That is a simple enjoyment that is like air to me.

Now these things don't have to be big things. Even the simplest thing can bring a smile to your kids face and can at times make you feel like a Rock star. For example, Abi loves school and one thing that she enjoys is school parties for holiday's (what kid doesn't). What is truly awesome about this is sometimes I am able to go be a helper for these parties. Nothing is more beautiful to me than to see Abi smile when I tell her that I will be helping in her class. The first party this year was great and all of her classmates referred to me as Abi's mom (because they didn't believe my real name is Barbie) so now anytime I go help, Everyone screams,"Hi Abi's Mom!" Better than any standing ovation at a rock concert I guarantee it. This morning I was able to tell her how I will be in her class most of the day on Monday helping her teacher redo her bulletin boards. For that simple statement, I received a bone crushing hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, once again making me feel 40 feet tall.

Now that is one of the good parts. There are times that you find yourself doing things that aren't really your cup of tea. Today is one of those day's for me.

Now most of you know I grew up in the Mountains of North Carolina. While it is a back woods town, not all inhabitants are rednecks (while there are many that are). There are quite a few normal people like my family. Now there are certain things in the world that are labeled as things that "rednecks" like. Nascar,Hunting, Fishing, Camping, chewing tobacco, spitting in spit cups, watching fishing on TV, watching hunting on TV and monster trucks. Today I get to take my children to Monster Jam (that is the big Monster Truck thing where they race and crush cars). My children think that it is AWESOME! I, however, think that is a loud, messy and obnoxious thing and get no enjoyment out of it.

There will be some enjoyment for me. That is to see Abi and Buddy's face light up watching this. Hearing Abi's maniacal laugh when a monster truck wrecks or crushes something. Listening to Buddy explain what is going on (even though I already know) and pretend he is telling me new and exciting news. Watching my loving husband watching my kids and knowing he is not only enjoying the kids reaction, but he is enjoying the big trucks to.

Now after this event I can guarantee that I will have a massive headache, but I won't be miserable. The reason I won't be miserable is because I know that even though we are having it a little tough right now as a family with these trying economic times, today none of us have to worry about that. All I have to worry about today is taking the right pictures of Abi and Buddy with the Monster Trucks, watching them laugh and cheer for their favorite truck (Grave Digger) and just making sure Maddie doesn't melt down.

So take this time to think about how many times your parent/parents went somewhere they didn't want to go. How many times did they do something you wanted to do when they would have rather of been in a 1,000 other places? What did you do when your parent did this? Did you thank them? I think this is the perfect opportunity to either go hug your parent/parents or call them and just thank them (not for anything specific) and just tell them that you love them. Be a good kid go brighten your parents day. If your parents are walking with the Lord, take a minute to thank God that he created such wonderful people to bring you into this world and making you who you are. Trust me not only will it brighten their day, it will give you a little pep in your step as well.

The moral of the story today is mostly for those of you who do not have children. The moral is this: When you have kids be prepared to go places you don't want to go, see things you don't want to see, here things you don't want to here, but while all that is going on know that your child is in one of his/her happiest places in the universe!

Kids say the darndest things.....

I love my kids. They are a great source of constant entertainment in my life. Those of you who have the pleasure of knowing my kids know that they are like their mother in the fact that they sometimes say thing without thinking it out first. Yesterday just happened to be one of those cases.

Abigail received her report card yesterday, all A's and O's (even in handwriting which is a big deal for her). She was so excited to come home and tell me. She got home and ran over to show me the progress report and I was beaming with joy. She sat down to do her homework and I decided to call my mom for our daily chat.

In the course of normal conversation, it was brought up that Abi had a great report card. So, being the proud Nannie that she is, my mom requested to speak with the genius of the family to relay just how proud of her she was.

Abi got on the phone and walked out of the room because she doesn't like people listening in to her conversations. After a few minutes she walked back in the room and she was saying, "I'll just let you tell mom about that, k? Love you, bye," and she hands the phone back to me.

My mother was laughing so hard I couldn't understand a single word she said. I had to pause a minute so she could compose herself and calm down enough to speak clearly. When she had settled down she asked me if I had been listening to the conversation, I simply said, "obviously not, or I would be laughing as hard as you". Mom had simply told Abi how proud she was of her for getting good grades in every subject. Now normally someone would respond by just saying "Thank You" but not my child.

Abi's response was this,"You know who else could get good grades? Maddie, she could get straight A's in farting right now because she is sitting behind me and farting! They don't stink or anything but they are as loud as Daddy's farts and she is doing a good job!"

From the mouths of babes.......

Will it ever end?

So, after my sleepless night, yesterday went steadily down hill!

I go to check the balance in my unemployment account and there is a big whopping $0 in there! What the Crap? I filed 3 weeks ago and have filed 2 claims and still nothing! So, me being the resourceful young woman that you all know that I am, I called the Unemployment office.

Now, those of you who know me, know that I do have a temper at times, and I have been known to yell quite often at people. If I am going to yell at you, then most of you know that I have an extremely loud voice and can throw profanities with the best sailor in the world, but I do have to be provoked. I guess the 1st woman I talked to was having the most horrible day of her life (already at 8:40am) because she was not happy with me.

After being on hold for 22 minutes this lady, who I couldn't understand her name, answered and asked how she could help me. I explained my situation, confirmed all the dates, forms I filled out and she said that no I would not get paid this week because I filed a claim that stated that I had worked on 1/10/10. Now this is where the woman loses it on me. After she made the statement about me working I simply said in the same tone I had been speaking in the entire conversation,"but I didn't earn any wages for that day."

Well she screamed at me and said,"Ma'am there is no reason for you to be yelling at me. I am stating the facts and it's not my fault you don't like them."

Now my husband was in the room for that entire exchange and he was shocked at my next response. I stayed calm and continued speaking in the same tone and simply said,"Ma'am I am in no way yelling at you and trust me if I were yelling at you, then you would be hearing quite a few profanities and would probably hang up on me." Kris busted out laughing and the lady then said,"ma'am I have done nothing to warrant you yelling at me like you are, I can't help it that you can't keep a job and now my tax dollars have to pay you, but if you yell at me again I will disconnect this call."

Well now I had lost all patience I had been holding on to, and I said,"you are clearly not the person that I need to talk to, I am not asking to be transferred to a supervisor, I just want to be transferred to someone who has a little more patience than you."

Guess what.....she hung up on me!

So I called back, actually got a different person to speak to and that person was able to get me my money by friday! I like her better. Before I got off the phone with her I politely asked her how I would go about getting a job working for her department because she had a woman working for her that does not like her job. She laughed and told me that I must have gotten the girl who's last day is today and she didn't really want to come to work but had to, so she could get her stuff off her desk.

Morale of the story is: Killing people with patience and kindness sometimes makes them more mad, so therefore it could be more fun for you in the end.

First Captain's Log

So, Facebook just doesn't give enough space to say everything that needs to be said about my status, therefore, I have created my first ever blog. Let me begin by thanking you for reading it, and I just hope everything I write here is as entertaining to you as it is for me! Here We Go!

Captain's Log: Tuesday, January 2010. I can't recall what the date is today. I am sure I will discover it later, but for now it is to early for my brain to think that much. Last night was the first night home for the Samsel Crew, the Admiral and Captain were ecstatic at the prospect of sleeping in a real bed (not a pull out couch like we did at the cabin). So as the crew retired for a peaceful nights sleep, the Admiral and Captain also crawled in bed to pass out. Crew member Abigail decided her bunk was not the most comfortable place to be, so she retreated to the Admiral's Quarters. About an hour into her slumber the Admiral and Captain were awakened by one of the most horrid sounds and feelings known to exist in nature. That was the sound of Abigail throwing up all over both of us!

The Captain was quick to her feet to retrieve a towel, but was not quick enough to catch the second round of Abigail's dinner spewing all over the bed (and Admiral who was not as quick to his feet). Once the vile spasm had stopped, the Captain attempted to escort Abigail to the toilet, but yet another spasm engulfed little Abigail and once again, last nights dinner decided to pay a visit to the bathroom floor. After this, sweet Abigail raised her sad, shocked eyes to look straight at the Captain and say,"I think I am feeling a lot better now mommy."

Standing there in the bathroom, covered in toasted cheese sandwich and yogurt, looking into those beautiful blue eyes, the Captain could only respond with a chuckle. Normally a hug would have been in order, but with last nights dinner everywhere, the hug had to wait until bathing could occur.

With the events over for the time being, bath's taken and clothes changed we retired once again in an attempt to sleep. Abi in her own bunk, the Admiral in the spare room on the twin bed and the Captain to the couch.

Sleep evaded the Captain so she decided to be productive. She washed all clothing casualties from the previous events, and finished a good book. by 4:30am sleep once again beckoned to the Captain. She grabbed a pillow and a warm snugly blanket and laid down on the couch. Her head had just barely caressed the pillow when the unthinkable occurred. What you ask could it be? Would it be more vile spasm to bring more food back for a second round? No, it was just littliest crewmember Madelyn awaking for her normal day of playing and funning around!

With the evening behind her the Captain is now forced to go into her day with 3 hours of sleep and just wait to see what Fate has in mind for her today.